It's Only Temporary

At least that's what I keep telling myself. I'm up again this morning to 218.4, but TOM will be here soon. So I think that's it. I doubt my "16 calories over-limit" yesterday has much to do with my current gain. :o)

Did I mention how hungry I've been? I've been eyeing these leftovers that I'm having for breakfast since I ate the first bit yesterday. I blame that on TOM, too.

Calories Today:

1 pork chop-366
1/4 pot cream of mushroom rice-262

@Olive Garden:
1 bowl salad- ~150
1 breadstick-150
~1/2 of sampler calamari-220
~1 T Ranch dip-50(?)
1/2 order Chicken Con Broccoli-480
~1/2 oz. romano cheese-55
1 chocolate mint-25

14 g Pringles Select BBQ chips-70
1 c. 1% milk-110
1 After Eight mint chocolate-40

1 c. beef broth-5

Running Total: 1983
Left for Today: 17

Water: 7 c.

Exercise:

My PB2 Just Came In!

I'm so excited! I want to try it, but I don't really know what to do with it right now. I just ate lunch, so I don't need any oatmeal or anything at the moment. My husband was like "You ordered peanut butter?" Yes. Yes, I did. I guess I'm off to look up recipes for something I can do with it.

Today is my in-law's 50th Anniversary, so we have a roast beef dinner to go to tonight at my brother-in-law and his wife's house. I'm not really sure how I'm going to count it, but I am. Maybe I'll take my scale with me. It has the advantage of being rather small. :o)

My Scale Is Crazy

First it said I was 216.2, and I was all happy, but then after awhile I went to the bathroom, and then it said 217.8! I hadn't eaten or drunk anything in the meantime. Stupid scale.

Calories Today:

23 g proscuitto-66
1 slice homemade bread-184

tomato-24

bowl of salad- ~30
2 T light Thousand Island dressing-40
pork chop-366
1/4 pot cream of mushroom rice-262

14 g Pringles Select chips-70
2 raspberry bliss chocolates-37
Chocolate PB2-52
1 c. 1% milk-110

26 g roast beef-45
111 g mashed potatoes-125
68 g steamed baby carrots-24
80 g baked parsnips-57
101 g baked sweet potato-91
~1 T butter-102
~1/4 c. gravy-31
~1/2 c. sparkling juice-55
11 g shrimp-12
~1/4 t. cocktail sauce-5(?)
~1/20th chocolate cream pie-172
79 g strawberries-25
~3 T Cool Whip-25
~1/2 dill pickle-6

Running Total: 2016
Left for Today: -16 Oops! lol

I'm still hungry. :o( Or should I say, I have a serious case of the munchies. Oh well, I guess there's always tomorrow.

Water: 6 c.

Exercise:

Ack!

I was up to 219 this morning! Yikes! I think maybe I haven't been drinking enough water.

Calories Today:

1 slice homemade bread-129
48 g proscuitto-137

25 g proscuitto-71

2 tomatoes-55
ham-66
yam-56
parsnips-10
49 g bread stuffing-193 That seems really high, but whatever.
turkey-22
mashed potatoes-25
1/4 c. gravy-100
1/2 c. light eggnog-105

1 slice homemade bread-131
49 g proscuitto-140
14 g Pringles Select chips-70
2 raspberry bliss chocolates-73
1 c. 1% milk-110

Running Total: 1493
Left for Today: 507

Water: 4 c.

Exercise:

My Facebook "Stalker"

...wrote me again! Holy crap! I sent a message to "Facebook Support" to find out how to block someone if I can't find their profile when I try to block them. Somebody can't take a hint.

Note to self: Never, ever accept someone without looking into their profile very carefully first. "Name sounds familiar" is not a good reason to accept a friend request.

Bit Late Today...

Busy, busy, busy! We were out all day getting stuff done. It was good because I haven't left the house in awhile! This morning, I was up to 217.8. Dunno why. Oh well. I know it will go back down.

We went to Montana's for "brunch." I have no idea how to count that, but I'm gonna give it my best shot. Here goes:

Calories Today:

@ Montana's:
2 Fireside Antojitos with sour cream that came with-274
quarter chicken (dark meat) with skin-300
1 serving garlic mashed potatoes-81
1 serving steamed carrots & broccoli-100
1 corn muffin-260 (holy crap!)
few pieces of tomatoes-15
1 T guacamole-23

1 24 g sample slice of proscuitto-69

2 tomatoes-58
71 g proscuitto-203
28 g Pringles Select chips-140
1 c. 1% milk-110

28 g Pringles Select chips-140
1 c. 1% milk-110
3 raspberry bliss chocolates-110

Running Total: 1993
Left for Today: 7

Water: 6 c.

Exercise:

I was running around all day. Does that count?

Holding Steady...

Still at 217.2 today. I'm glad because I weighed myself last night and it said 222, so I thought I might be up this morning!

My back still hurts. I really wish it would go away. I want to go and visit my Grandma and my Mom and bring them their presents, but an over 2-hour car ride does not sound fun to me right now. I had a pajama day yesterday, and today I'm bored and desperate to at least leave the house!

That weird guy tried to add me as a friend on Facebook again. Creepy...

Calories Today:

2 slices leftover homemade pizza-512
1 T light Ranch-35

28 g Pringles Select chips-140
1 c. 1% milk-110

46 g turkey-72
1 stuffing muffin-115
35 g ham-85
88 g mashed potatoes-93
48 g sweet potato-49
1/2 T butter-51
2 brussels sprouts-15
50 g parsnips-41
14 g stuffing-55
1/4 c. gravy-100
1/2 c. light eggnog-105

28 g Pringles Select chips-140
1 c. 1% milk-110
3 raspberry bliss chocolates-110

Running Total: 1938
Left for Today: 62

Water: 4 c.

Exercise:

Back To the Grind

And by grind, I mean calorie counting. I'd be lying if I said I felt like counting today. Oh, well. Can't let one day get me out of the habit, now, can I?

This morning I was up a bit to 217.2, but I'm okay with that. I estimate that I ate about 2800 calories yesterday.

One of the things I got for Christmas was a pair of pajamas. They are size extra large, but they're from Superstore! And they fit! Something fits me from a regular store! I was so excited.

My husband made some comments yesterday that indicate he's really starting to believe that I'll lose weight this time. He doesn't really say anything about it usually, but in the past he's been skeptical of my weight loss plans, and for good reason. I've never stuck to anything before. One of the things he said was that next year I'll be smaller, so he can buy me a certain kind of pajamas that he thinks I'll like. The other thing he said was regarding the pajamas he got me this Christmas. He said that I'm losing weight, so he figured if they didn't fit yet, they will soon.

I'm glad he is starting to believe me. It makes me feel like he's proud of me for sticking to it this time. But on the other hand, I suddenly felt this incredible pressure, like I don't want to disappoint him by going back to my old ways. I don't want to disappoint myself, either, but that feeling's always been there. I didn't realize until yesterday that he's really noticed my progress. I know he knew about it, but I guess I didn't know it really registered with him. I'm afraid the expectation I feel like he has now might be harmful to my progress because I feel this added pressure. Have any of you ever felt like that? I know it sounds strange, but in past weight-loss attempts, whenever people started making comments about how good I looked and how they could really tell I had lost weight, I would eventually panic and put it all back on. I don't know why I do that. I don't want to do it this time.

Calories Today:

2 stuffing muffins-230

85 g rotini-300
1/2 c. meat sauce-112
2 T light parmesan-45

28 g Pringles Select chips-140
2 raspberry bliss chocolates-73
1 c. 1% milk-110

2 slices of my delicious an' wunnerful homemade pizza-512
1 T light Ranch-35
1 c. 1% milk-110

28 g Pringles Select chips-140
1 c. 1% milk-110
2 raspberry bliss chocolates-73

Running Total: 1990
Left for Today: 10

Water: 4 c.

Exercise:

Merry Christmas!

I hope Santa was good to all of you! I got a few things I asked for, and a few surprises. I like everything I got. :o) I didn't get a heart rate monitor, though. But maybe my husband will get one during the Boxing Day sales (yes, he's crazy enough to go out), and if not, I will be able to get one that suits my specifications, so there's a bright side.

I got a good Christmas present this morning: I weighed in (with my jammie bottoms on), and the scale said 217.8. Then later I weighed without clothes, and it said 216.4. I'll take it! I didn't really eat dinner last night because I hurt my back again, and then I got cranky about that and lost my appetite.

I didn't count calories today. I went and ate, and I enjoyed everything. I was full before I got through my first plate, when normally I would happily polish off at least two plates. My stomach must be shrinking or something. I also had two chocolates and a glass of sparkling fruit juice. We will probably be going back tonight for more ("dinner" is at lunch time on special occasions).

In other news, I had a weird Facebook experience. This guy added me as a friend, and I thought his name sounded somewhat familiar, so I accepted. Probably not a good idea without some investigation. Anyway, I looked at his profile and realized I didn't recognize him at all, so I asked him who he was. He wrote back with all this weird sort of preachy stuff, but whatever. He said something like, "you might think I'm crazy but blah blah blah." I also noticed that I was his only friend so far. So then I asked him how he found me and why he decided to add me as a friend, just out of curiosity. I also said I didn't think he was crazy because I see all kinds of beliefs at a debating website I read and occasionally post on, but that I think differently. I wasn't rude about any of it at all.

So then today I saw that he wrote back to me, and he was nasty! He said I thought I was so important, and I was nothing but dust and worth nothing, and I didn't understand what he was telling me, blah blah blah. It didn't really make all that much sense. Okay buddy, now I think you're crazy! Then, of course, I removed him, and I was going to block him because I don't know what kind of weirdo he might be and I'm paranoid that way. But I couldn't find him to block him...which probably means he blocked me! Criminy. So I'll be a lot more suspicious from now on.

Now I'm wondering if his name sounded familiar because of one of those, "If someone named (so-and-so) adds you as a friend, don't accept!" warnings. I've always thought they were crap, but maybe not. I'm extra paranoid because one of my Facebook friends had her profile broken into and whoever did it apparently started sending messages to people (in her name) asking for money.

Oh, and then at the end he informed me it was Christmas (you don't say?) and wished me a Merry Christmas. WTF???!!!

Merry Christmas Eve!

I'm down a touch today, to 218.4. I'm happy about that. I was going to try to count my calories tomorrow for Christmas dinner (which is actually lunch), but I think it will be too difficult. I would have to bring my measuring cups, spoons, food scale, etc. (I don't want to ask anyone to dig theirs out for me) to either my husband's parent's house or his brother and sister-in-law's house. I don't really want the questions, either, if I'm honest about it. I think I'll just go, enjoy, and try to keep it reasonable.

I kind of don't feel good today, but it comes and goes. Same thing yesterday. I'm hoping it's all in my head, and it just might be considering I keep reading about sick people in the blogosphere! Mostly it's my stomach, though, which is probably just the IBS.

Yesterday I went to my TOPS weigh in (no meeting this week), and found that I'm down 4.25 lbs since December 2nd (last time I weighed in). That's about 1.4 lbs per week. Not too shabby. I would rather it's slow (if I'm being logical about it), because I want to try to avoid the problems of losing too fast (saggy skin, likeliness of putting it all back on, etc.).

Calories Today:

2 pork dumplings-163
a few small pieces of honey garlic chicken-200(?)

1 more pork dumpling (last one)-82

85 g spaghetti-300
1/2 c. meat sauce-112
2 T light parmesan-45

28 g Pringles Select chips-140
1 c. 1% milk-110

handful of Swiss cheese crackers-60(?)
what was left in the bottom of the Cheetos bag-150(?) I doubt it was that much...
bowl of salad-30
~1 T light Thousand Island dressing-20

Running Total: 1412
Left for Today: 588

Water: 2 c.

Exercise:

So...When Did Hell Freeze Over?

I mean, I know it's been very cold here, but imagine my surprise!

What am I talking about? Okay, it's this: I'm not hungry. At all. I'm always hungry! I wake up in the middle of the night feeling hungry and telling myself I can eat come morning. I think it happened last night (I was a bit not-quite-awake at the time). I finish up my calories for the day and I try not to think about it, but I'm almost always still hungry. But not this morning.

So usually eating breakfast is no problem. But not today. I don't want it, at least not yet. And if I wait until later, is it still really breakfast? It's almost 11 am already.

In other news, I weighed in at 218.6 this morning. I've reached an all-time low! Yay! I have no idea how I managed that, since I'm barely trying. Whatever works, I guess. :o)

Calories Today:

Okay, now I'm starving...

2 pork dumplings-163
a few small pieces of honey garlic chicken-200(?)
1/2 pork chop-129
1/4 pot cream of mushroom rice-262
a few pieces of broccoli and cauliflower-10(?)

85 g spaghetti-300
1/2 c. meat sauce-212
2 T light parmesan-45

28 g Pringles Select chips-140
1 low fat blueberry muffin-78
1 Ferrero Rocher-73
1 c. 1% milk-110

28 g Pringles Select chips-140
1 c. 1% milk-110

Running Total: 1972
Left for Today: 28

Water: 4 c.

Exercise:

Down a Bit Today...

Back to 219.2, to my surprise. I thought I would be UP because of the Chinese food. Although I guess there's still time for that to happen.

I'm going through a period now where I kind of feel ambivalent about the whole thing. I'm trying to still stay under my calories, because I know I really want this, but right now my heart just isn't in it. I don't know why. I'm going to try to get that back somehow. Any suggestions?

Calories Today:

1.5 c. chow mein-356
2 pork dumplings-163
a few small pieces of honey garlic chicken-200(?)
This is going to have to be brunch...

14 g Pringles Select chips-70
1 c. 1% milk-110
1 low fat blueberry muffin-78
1 Ferrero Rocher-73

pork chop-257
1/4 pot cream of mushroom rice-262
1 c. steamed broccoli and cauliflower-25

28 g Pringles Select chips-140
2 Ferrero Rocher's-147
1 c. 1% milk-110

Running Total: 1991
Left for Today: 9

Water: 6 c.

Exercise:

If I Were Maintaining, I'd Be Doing Great

Same today (220.2). It cannot stay like this forever, it cannot stay like this forever... I do realize I didn't eat very well at all yesterday. I didn't overeat, but I ate mostly carbs and not terribly healthy ones. I am going to increase the protein today in hopes that I don't feel like I'm starving to death all day like I did yesterday.

Well, I guess staying the same is better than increasing. Gotta look on the bright side.

Still stressed about spending way too much on Christmas presents. Still haven't been able to bring myself to take anything back. *sigh*

I just looked over at my tree, and I see that my cats have been happily undecorating it. They're being sneaky, though, and tearing it apart from the back. Silly kitties.

Calories Today:

1 low fat blueberry muffin-78

1 packet Maple & Brown Sugar oatmeal-160
1 T peanut butter-90

28 g Pringles Select chips-140

3 cabbage rolls-315

28 g Pringles Select chips-140
1 low fat blueberry muffin-78
1 Ferrero Rocher-73

I has a weakness...
1.5 c. chow mein-356
3 pork dumplings-245
a few small pieces of honey-garlic chicken-200(?)

wonton soup(2 wontons)-89

clementine-35

Running Total: 1999
Left for Today: 1

I have a serious case of the munchies again today. :o(

Water: 10 c.

Exercise:

Teeter-Totter

I'm still teetering around 220 lbs. I was 220.2 this morning. Why? Who knows? I just keep repeating my mantra to myself: It cannot stay like this forever, it cannot stay like this forever...

Yesterday I went shopping and got all my Christmas shopping done. Unfortunately, I kind of got carried away and now I'm all stressed about money. I'm actually thinking of returning one or two things. I hate to do that, but I really shouldn't have bought all that I bought in the first place. I'm trying to think of a way around it, but I don't think there is one. I do this every year, and it makes me so mad with myself! But in other years, I was working, which made it not so bad. This year I'm not (and I have no plans to for awhile).

Calories Today:

25 g baked Cheetos-115

2 low fat blueberry muffins-156

1/2 c. 1% milk-55
14 g Pringles Select BBQ chips-70
1 Ferrero Rocher-73

1/2 c. 1% milk-55
28 g Pringles Select BBQ & Roasted Garlic & Parmesan chips-140
1 low fat blueberry muffin-78
1 Ferrero Rocher-73

3 cabbage rolls-315

28 g Pringles Select Roasted Garlic & Parmesan chips-140
1 low fat blueberry muffin-78
3 Ferrero Rocher's-220
1 c. 1% milk-110

28 g Pringles Select chips-140
1 low fat blueberry muffin-78

1 low fat blueberry muffin-78

Running Total: 1974
Left for Today: 26

Water: 8 c.

Exercise:

Under 220 Again!

This morning I was at 219.2. And I barely exercised yesterday. Hmm...

It's so cold here! I want to go out and finish off my Christmas shopping, but I don't want to go outside! Brrr...

I just realized I get to change my ticker, because 219.2 is the lowest I've gotten down to! Yay!

Calories Today:

1 packet Maple and Brown sugar oatmeal-160
1 T peanut butter-90

1 c. 1% milk-110
15 g cheddar-60
25 g Baked Cheetos-115
25 g Baked Cheetos-115
2 tomatoes-82

2 slices of my delicious an' wunnerful homemade pizza-532
1 T light Ranch-35

1 clementine-35
1 tomato-39

25 g Baked Cheetos-115
14 g Pringles Select BBQ chips-70
3 Ferrero Rocher's-220
1 c. 1% milk-110

blueberries-95

Running Total: 1983
Left for Today: 17

Water: 6 c.

Exercise:

Same Old, Same Old

Still at 221.2 this morning. So...is this a plateau? I don't think I've ever experienced one before. Or is it too short to be a plateau? Every other time my weight loss stopped, it was because I was eating too much and not exercising. But I know that's not the case this time! Today, it's not really bothering me. It's not that I don't care, but I know that the number on the scale will have to go down in time. It can't stay like that forever.

My feet are killing me from the treadmill, so I was thinking of going swimming today instead, but I see that it's -21 out there right now! I don't even think my car will start...

Calories Today:

1/3 c. (dry) Sunny Boy cereal-163
1 T maple syrup-55
1/4 c. 1% milk-28
1 T peanut butter-90

1 Shake N' Bake chicken thigh-160
2 stuffing muffins-258

2 tomatoes-70

25 g Baked Cheetos-115
1 c. 1% milk-110
1 Ferrero Rocher-73

1 Basa fillet w/mayo, breadcrumbs & light parmesan-203
1/4 pot Parmesan Pesto-156
1/2 pan carrots & onions sauteed in olive oil-142

25 g Baked Cheetos-115
1 c. 1% milk-110
2 Ferrero Rocher-146

Running Total: 1994
Left for Today: 6

Water: 8 c.

Exercise:

10 minutes on treadmill: -57
10 minutes on treadmill: -53

Exercise Total: -110

I'm Goin' the Wrong Way! *grumble*

This morning I was 221.2. Yeah, yeah, I know--I shouldn't weigh every day, it's the exercise, etc., but it's still frustrating.

I'm a little disappointed with myself about yesterday's dinner. I really didn't think I'd go over my calorie limit this time. The other times I went over, it was no great surprise to me, but this time I really didn't think I would. And I could have avoided it so easily. I did do my best to work it off after, though, which is something I wouldn't have done in the past.

So, I've been thinking about trying PB2. I like having peanut butter with my hot cereal in the morning (as you can see!). But when I checked it out before, it looked like you had to buy 4 jars at a time. I don't really want 4 jars. Maybe 2 at the most. Do you have to buy 4? Maybe I'll get it anyway.

Calories Today:

1/3 c. (dry) Sunny Boy cereal-163
1 T maple syrup-55
1/4 c. 1% milk-28
1 T peanut butter-90

leftover Linguini Pepperonata-300
~1.5 T parmesan-31

2 Shake N' Bake chicken thighs-320
2 stuffing muffins-258
1/2 pan of onions & carrots sauteed in olive oil with Greek seasoning-126

1 c. 1% milk-110
14 g BBQ "Eating Right" chips-55
1 granola bar-150

Running Total: 1686
Left for Today: 314

Water: 8 c.

Exercise:

40 minutes on treadmill: -216
20 minutes on treadmill: -107

Total exercise: 323

WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got a lot of exercise (for me) yesterday, and I ate less than my full amount of calories for the day, so why did I gain???!!! This morning I was 220.8. Up about a pound from yesterday. Frustrating, but oh well. What can I do but keep doing what I'm doing?

Thanks for your comments yesterday. They helped a lot. I realized after I wrote that post yesterday that quitting is not an option. At the risk of sounding melodramatic, my life depends on it. I already have high blood pressure, and there have been a lot of strokes, heart attacks, and diabetes in many of my close relatives. Which means I'm more at risk. Besides, it's nice to feel like I have some control over my eating habits for once.

Tonight is my TOPS Christmas dinner. We go weigh in early, and then we're off to Chianti's for pasta or whatever we want. I think I'll do okay. I'm only worried about the bread basket, but if it stays on the table, I'm only going to have one piece.

Calories Today:

1/3 c. (dry) Sunny Boy cereal-163
1 T maple syrup-55
1/4 c. 1% milk-28
1 T peanut butter-90

pork chop-369
1/4 pot cream of mushroom soup-262

@Chianti's:

1 piece focaccia-200
~1/2 t. butter-17
~1/2 t. olive oil/balsamic vinegar-20
1/2 piece foccacia with bruschetta-150
1/2 of my Linguini Pepperonata-~300
~1.5 T parmesan-31
Bacio Nero dessert-~600(?)

Running Total: 2285
Left for Today: -285

Oops...I did worse than I thought. I don't know how to count some of the things, though, so I might be wrong about it. Hopefully I'm wrong and it's less, rather than more.

I think I'll go hop on the treadmill... :o)

Water: 8 c.

Exercise:

60 minutes on treadmill: -312

Back Down, But on the Verge of Struggling Again

Does that make any sense? I'm back down to 219.6 today, but in the last few days I've sort of been feeling apathetic about it. It's like that feeling I've gotten before when I've gotten close to 200 lbs, but it's starting earlier this time! I don't know how to explain it...it's like some part of my mind wants to say, "Okay, you've lost enough. You probably can't lose any more, so why bother?" Except I don't think I've lost anywhere near enough, and I'm still pretty sure I could lose more. So what's wrong with that one renegade part of my brain?!

In the last few days I've also been feeling tired of the work that it takes to follow my plan. I don't know why--it's not like it's terribly difficult to count or anything. It's not a difficult plan. And yet I just want to eat whatever I want without worrying about how many calories it is or how much I have left for the day, or whether it will fill me up or leave me wanting more in an hour or two. I've been just ignoring the feeling, but I'm afraid it will catch up with me.

Have any of you ever experienced this? What do you do about it? What about if you think about the total you actually want to lose, and deep down feel like you really can't do it? I don't know why I feel like that, but I do. I want to prove myself wrong, though. But how, when my own thoughts are against me?

I know I sound like I'm whining. I just want to nip this in the bud before it short-circuits my progress. I don't want to "fall off the wagon," and I feel like I might. Please help!!!

Calories Today:

1 packet peaches & cream oatmeal-130
1 T peanut butter-90

chicken and dumplings-406

1/2 butternut squash- ~80
1 T butter-102
1 t. Worcestershire sauce-5

1 pork chop-369
cream of mushroom rice-262
~1/2 large carrot-16

14 g Cheetos (puffs)-81
1 c. % milk-110
3 Ferrero Rocher's-220

Running Total: 1871
Left for Today: 129

Water: 8 c.

Exercise:

30 minutes treadmill: -157
1 hour shopping: -237

Total: 394

Woo-hoo! First time I've burned 300 calories a day since that day I first decided that's what I would have to do!

Something Caught Up To Me

'Cuz this morning, I was back to 222.0. Which sucks! I am thinking it's still the sodium from the Chinese food. I know I haven't been drinking enough water lately, and I woke up really thirsty. I am hoping it will be gone tomorrow!

I haven't been doing very well on the sleep front, either. Going to bed too late and such. Last night my husband and I were watching some rather strange behavior outside, and it was all going on around 1:00 in the morning. We were trying to figure out what was going on. There was a truck that kept driving around our neighbourhood, over and over. He kept stopping on the road like he was confused. He also would turn down a street and then either do a U-turn or back up to get of it. He kept doing that, on the same streets. It was like he had a route he was driving over and over, but it didn't make any sense. He finally went somewhere else.

Then there was a girl who was parked across the street in a Jeep, and while we were wondering why the guy in the truck was driving around, she got back in the Jeep and drove around the block. Then she parked back in the same spot. Then she backed out into the middle of the road, stopped the Jeep, and got out and went around the Jeep to pick something up off the road. Then when she had parked again, she got out with her car brush, but she just went to the window of an RV that was parked in front of her and banged on it once. Then she got back in her Jeep. Then she got out and did the same thing again. We had been hearing that noise all evening, so she must have been doing it for a few hours on and off. Nobody ever seemed to appear from the RV. Weird. Yes, we're kind of snoopy. Don't judge, 'k?

Calories Today:

1 corn muffin-80

19 g Swiss Cheese crackers-90
30 g Cheddar-120
1/8 batch rice krispie square-264
1 c. 1% milk-110

1/8 batch rice krispie square-264
1 c. 1% milk-110

chicken and dumplings-706

1/2 butternut squash- ~80
1 T butter-102
1 t. brown sugar-11

Running Total: 1937
Left for Today: 63

Water: 7.5 c.

Exercise:

treadmill for 20 minutes: -87

Chinese Food Didn't Do Too Much Damage

Not that I went over, but I did eat a LOT of it yesterday (after not eating much all day I was starving!). I thought that the sodium would put me higher today, but it was only 0.2 higher than yesterday.

Calories Today:

~3/4 c. Cantonese chow mein-178
3 pork dumplings-245
wonton soup w/3 wontons-134

3 pork dumplings-245

1 c. chili-182
30 g cheddar-120
2 corn muffins-160
1 c. 1% milk-110

14 g BBQ "Eating Right" chips-55
2 corn muffins-160
1 c. 1% milk-110

tiny slice rice krispie square-100?

Running Total: 1799
Left for Today: 201

Water: 6.5 c.

Exercise:

Progress Pix-219.4 lbs!

Measurements:

Upper Arm: 14"

Forearm: 11 1/2"

Chest: 45 3/4"

Waist: 40 7/8"

Hips: 49 1/2"

Thighs: 29 3/4"

Calves: 18"

I Reached Goal #2!

Yay! This morning I was 219.4. I will have my husband take progress pics when he gets home from work.

My tummy is still not right and my back still hurts. And let me tell you, I am feeling QUITE sorry for myself about the whole situation. *whine* Okay, I'm done for now.

Now on to goal #3: 210 lbs! It seems sooo far away!

Calories Today:

1 packet peaches & cream oatmeal-130
1 T peanut butter-90

Ichiban-480

2 c. Cantonese chow mein-474
3 pork dumplings-245
7-8 small pieces ginger chicken-200?
wonton soup w/2 wontons-89

Running Total: 1708
Left for Today: 292

Water: 5 c.

Exercise:

10 minutes treadmill (slow): -37

PS-Would anyone like a cat? Mine has draped himself over my legs, purring and drooling on me, as he beats me up with his claws. Weirdo.

I'm just kidding. I wouldn't give him up for nuthin'. :o)

I Think...I May Have Reached Goal #2.

But I'm not sure. See, I weighed myself when I got up this morning, and the scale said 220.6. I was pleased, but then I started eating breakfast and drank some water. Then I went to the...well, you know. And then I weighed myself again (I don't know why I do that), expecting to see a gain, but then it said 217.4! I thought that was just too weird, so I stepped on again. 219-point-something (don't remember details). Then I finished breakfast, and thought I'd see what it had to say this time, and it still said 219.4. I'm not sure I trust that number, so I'm going with 220.6. But by tomorrow I may be out of the 220's! Yay!

My tummy is still not quite right, but it is better than yesterday. But then yesterday, I managed to hurt my lower back/hips somehow, so I'm having a bit of trouble when I try to get up from sitting down. I hope it goes away soon. I've had it more intensely than this in the past a few times, and those times I couldn't even move. I'm terrified that I'll move the wrong way and that will happen again! :o(

Calories Today:

1 packet peaches & cream oatmeal-130
1 T peanut butter-90

85 g spaghetti-300
1/2 c. meat sauce-112
2 T light parmesan-45

14 g Zesty Taco chips-71

44 g proscuitto-126

2 hot dogs-220
2 hot dog buns-167
2 T relish-30
2 T ketchup-30

Second Cup skinny gingerbread latte-200
1 Second Cup ginger-molasses cookie-430? No idea, really. Anyone know?

Running Total-1951
Left for Today-49

Water: 5 c.

Exercise:

Ah hurt mahself... :o(

Gettin' Closer...

This morning, I weighed in at 221.8, which is the lowest I've been since I started this journey. Last night I didn't feel very good, so I just went to TOPS to weigh in, and the scale was broken! So I might as well have just stayed home. I still don't feel very good. Something ain't quite right with my tummy. :o( However, I'm determined to do some Christmas shopping today anyway.

Calories Today:

granola bar-110

85 g spaghetti-300
1/2 c. meat sauce-112
2 T light parmesan-45

21 g Zesty Taco chips-106

20 g Zesty Taco chips-101

44 g proscuitto-126

2 Shake N' Bake chicken thighs-320
2 stuffing muffins-218
~1 c. cauliflower popcorn-66

1 stuffing muffin-109

25 g Zesty Taco chips-126

Running Total: 1739
Left for Today: 261

Water: 8 c.

Exercise:

at least 20 minutes of shopping: -80

I'm Tired of the 220's.

I'm so close, and yet so far. After thinking about it for a good long while, my scale finally settled on me being 222.8 today. So if it's telling the truth (I don't trust scales. I think they're evil and out to get me.), then I've got about 3 lbs to go before I'm out of the 220's. Easy, right? Well, apparently not. I'm stuck again. I know, I know. I'm not ready to make those changes I know I'll eventually need to make, yet. So I guess I'll just have to suck it up for awhile.

Calories Today:

1 packet peaches & cream oatmeal-130
1 T peanut butter-90

1 pork chop-304
1/4 pot leftover cream of mushroom rice-262

41 g proscuitto-117

85 g spaghetti-300
1/2 c. sauce-112
2 T light parmesan-45

41 g proscuitto-117
1 c. 1% milk-110
30 g Cinnamon Toast Crunch-130

Running Total: 1717
Left for Today: 283

Water: 6 c.

Exercise:

I Survived Last Night's Dinner!

I didn't count anything. I have no idea how much I ate, just that I was quite full when I left. Thoughts: They had proscuitto, which I love, so I ate a lot of that from the salad bar. The rest of the salad bar sort of sucked, in my opinion. It was pretty small. They did have some good collard greens on the "hot" table, though. The meat was okay, but nothing to write home about. The portions were small, but there were a lot of them. The grilled pineapple was pretty good, but I don't think it lived up to the hype. It's still pineapple (in other words, not my favorite fruit).

I decided to have dessert, because I wasn't counting calories. I had the molten chocolate cake. It had crunchy sweet white bits on the top, making me wonder if that was on purpose, and it was dusted with sugar (regular sugar?), or if it was freezer burnt. It was okay but not great. I only ate about half and gave the rest to the "bottomless pit" (aka my husband).

Was it worth it? No, not really. It was nicely decorated and a bit "fancier" than restaurants we usually go to (Montana's, Red Lobster, Olive Garden, etc.), but it's not something I feel the need to repeat. I like meat, but it's not my main focus in meals (I love carbs. LOVE them!). I would rather go to the Olive Garden for a treat meal. But at Olive Garden, I can count how many calories I'm eating for just about any meal they've got!

That's another thing: I find that I am motivated, in everything I do, largely by curiosity. I wanted to know how many calories I ate last night, just out of curiosity. It sort of bugged me that I couldn't figure it out. And yet it was also nice to have a break from it for one meal.

Okay, I've yammered on long enough. This morning I weighed in at 223.0 lbs. I am going Christmas shopping if I can convince myself to clean off my car (it's LOADED with snow!).

Calories Today:

1 packet peaches & cream oatmeal-130
1 T peanut butter-90

~15 g proscuitto (deli sample)-43

64 g proscuitto-183
14 g BBQ Eating Right chips-55
1 c. 1% milk-110

1 tomato-27

1 pork chop-304
1/4 pot cream of mushroom rice-262
~1/2 c. broccoli-27

28 g proscuitto-80
30 g Cinnamon Toast Crunch-130
1 c. 1% milk-110

39 g proscuitto-111
15 g chocolate chips-70
1 c. 1% milk-110

Running Total: 1842
Left for Today: 158

Water: 6 c.

Exercise:

Let's say an hour of shopping: -240

Shopping!

Tonight's the Night...

...that I don't count my dinner calories. Since I have no idea how. But I figured I'd still count the rest of my day's calories, just to see where I'm at before I eat dinner. And to keep myself in the habit.

Calories Today:

1 packet peaches&cream oatmeal-130
1 T peanut butter-90

2 tomatoes-53

1 slice bread-172

2 poached eggs-150
1 c. 1% milk-110
30 g Cinnamon Toast Crunch-130

Running Total: 835
Left for Today: 1165

Water: 2 c.

Exercise:

It snowed! Boo!

Okay, Sunday I'm Having My First Cheat Meal Since I Started This Journey

Thank you for all of your comments! I was leaning towards just not worrying about it anyway, because I don't really think there's any way I could count it short of bringing my food scale and laptop with me. I don't do regular cheat meals or cheat days because I've done them before, and they've always had a way of taking over until every occasion becomes an excuse to have a cheat day. So far it's been working for me and I haven't missed it too much. I suppose you could say I "cheated" during my anniversary dinner, but I still counted it and went over by less than I thought I would.

Here is my concern: That I will let this one day slide into the next, and the next...and fall out of my "careful" ways of late. But you guys won't let me do that, right? Right?

Calories Today:

granola bar-110

~1/2 fillet halibut-223
encrusted w/ ~1/2 oz. pumpkin seeds-63
~3/4 c. vegetable risotto-200
~1 c. stir-fried snap peas-120

2 tomatoes-58

1 slice bread-114

1 c. 1% milk-110
14 g "Eating Right" BBQ chips-55
19 g Swiss Cheese crackers-90
15 g cheddar-60

1 c. 1% milk-110
2 corn muffins-170
1 T butter-102
15 g cheddar-60

1 c. 1% milk-110
30 g Cinnamon Toast Crunch-130

Running Total: 1885
Left for Today: 115

Water: 5 c.

Exercise:

Hmmm...walking around downtown and standing at the rally, which, all together, was around 2 hours...

What Would You Do? Please Comment.

On Sunday, my husband's boss is having his Christmas party. Every year this consists of a meal at a restaurant--usually Chinese. However, this year, it's a meal at a restaurant called Bolero's. Bolero's is a Brazilian-style rodizio, which means they bring you all the meat you can eat, all different kinds, on "swords." There is also a salad bar, and grilled pineapple that I've heard you will adore even if you don't really like pineapple (like myself).

I have wanted to try this restaurant for a very long time, so I'm excited about it. I want to try whatever they have. I don't know if we would ever go there again, although it's possible--it's kind of expensive. However, I started wanting to try this restaurant since before I started my new journey. Now I'm a little scared. I think it will be very difficult to track my eating and figure out my calories for the day when we're going to this restaurant.

So here's my question to you: Would you try to track what you ate? Or would you just chalk it up to a once a year thing, and enjoy? Or something in between? Or would you try to "burn it to earn it," and how exactly does that work? (Do you have to earn it the same day?) I plan on tracking my food every day (except maybe this Sunday) leading up to Christmas. The only other Christmas dinner I have coming up is with my TOPS group, and I'm familiar with the restaurant and their menu, so I'm not too worried about that one. I may even try to track on Christmas day (although I'm not going to worry about it too much if I go a bit over then). Please help--I need advice!!!

PS-Today I was up to 222.8, but that's nothing, especially since it's TOM.

Calories Today:

2 corn muffins-170

1 c. tomato soup-100
15 g cheddar-60
1 slice bread-147

1/2 c. 2% milk-65
14 g Wasabi Ranch chips-55
19 g Swiss Cheese crackers-90
1 Caramel Aero Singles-90

2 slices of my delicious an' wunnerful homemade pizza-520
1 T light Ranch-35
1 c. 1% milk-110

1 c. 1% milk-110
14 g Wasabi Ranch chips-55
1 Caramel Aero Singles-90

2 tomatoes-60

1 c. 1% milk-110
4 g "Eating Right" cheddar chips-16 And may I just say, "YUCK!"
10 g "Eating Right" Wasabi Ranch chips-39
1 Lindt chocolate ball-70

Running Total: 1992
Left for Today: 8

Water: 4 c.

Exercise:

20 minutes on treadmill: -114

Inching Towards Goal #2

This morning I weighed in at 222.6. That means I'm lower than I've been so far, so that's good. I can move my ticker a little bit!

Calories Today:

1/16 of a batch of rice krispies squares-132

1 Shake N' Bake chicken thigh-160
2 stuffing muffins-218
~2 c. cauliflower popcorn-132

1 pear-115

1 c. chili-227
22 g cheddar-89
2 corn muffins-170
1 c. 1% milk-110

1 c. 1% milk-110
1 slice bread-177
1/16th of a batch of rice krispies squares-132

1/2 c. 1% milk-55
14 g Wasabi Ranch chips-55
1 Caramel Aero Singles-90

Running Total: 1972
Left for Today: 28

Water: 8 c.

Exercise:

I Feel So Proud!!!

To those of you who are concerned that I weigh every day instead of every week, never fear. Tuesday nights are my weekly weigh-in at TOPS. I do take my scale at home more into consideration, because on it, I weigh in without clothes and before eating or drinking anything for the day. But the TOPS scale is quite accurate, so it's a good check on my scale. And it helps to show me the change week to week. My scale said I was 223.0 this morning.

Anyway, so last night was my TOPS weigh in. I had lost two pounds since I was there last (two weeks ago--last Tuesday I was still on my way back from Edmonton), and it said I was down to 224 and a quarter. That makes my total loss at TOPS about 13 lbs, so last night, I earned my "10 lbs lost" charm bracelet! I couldn't have felt more proud of it if it had been made of diamonds. Here it is:

I can't wait to start earning charms to add to it!!!

Calories Today:

Okay, I slept really late today, so...yeah. I think I got up at noon or somewhere thereabouts. Oops.

1 pumpkin spice chocolate chip cookie-126

85 g spaghetti-300
1/2 c. meat sauce-112
2 T light parmesan-45

pear-115

2 Shake N' Bake chicken thighs-320
2 stuffing muffins-218
1 c. cauliflower popcorn-66

14 g Wasabi Ranch chips-55
1.5 c. 2% milk-195
1 Caramel Aero Singles-90

51 g ham sausage-124
1 c. 1% milk-110
1 Caramel Aero Singles-90

Running Total: 1966
Left for Today: 34

Water: 8 c.

Exercise:

Tasty Treat: Two Different Dips for Apples

Peanut Butter Dip:

1 T peanut butter
1 t. E.D. Smith sugarfree pancake syrup

Cream Cheese Dip:

1 or 2 T Ultra Low Fat cream cheese
1 t. E.D. Smith sugarfree pancake syrup

For both of these, you need to put it in a small, somewhat deep container, and whip it like crazy with a fork until it's smooth. Unless you have one of those small portable blenders. That would work too.

I discovered these when looking for a way to stretch my peanut butter dip, because 1 T did NOT leave me enough to dip an entire apple! Then, when trying to lower my calories further (and still have more dip), I tried Ultra Low Fat cream cheese, and it was sort of like cheesecake.

I have also heard people talk about doing the same thing, but using light Cool Whip in place of the syrup. I haven't tried this.

Enjoy!

Now That the Chinese Food is Gone, I Think I'm On My Way Down Again

At least, that's what the scale says. This morning it was 223.8, which isn't a new number, exactly, but at least it's less than yesterday. I will continue to chug the water and hope that flushes out some more weight.

Calories Today:

2 pumpkin spice chocolate chip cookies-252

leftover pork chop-325
leftover ~1/4 pot cream of mushroom rice-262
~1/2 c. broccoli-27

1/2 c. 2% milk-65
1 pumpkin spice chocolate chip cookie-126

85 g spaghetti-300
1/2 c. meat sauce-112
2 T light parmesan-45

1.5 c. 2% milk-195
14 g Wasabi Ranch chips-55
1 pumpkin spice chocolate chip cookie-126
1 caramel Aero Singles-90

Running Total: 1980
Left for Today: 20

Water: 8 c.

Exercise:

25 minutes shopping: -100

Chinese Food Is EEEEVVVVIIIILLLLLL!!!

I'm up 1.8 lbs today, to 224.8. I blame the Chinese food entirely. Since I know it's nearly impossible to gain that much overnight in reality, I will happily eat my leftovers today and then forget about Chinese food for awhile. Not forever, because that's not realistic. But maybe once a month, or less, is realistic.

Calories Today:

~1.5 c. Cantonese-style chow mein-356
3 grilled pork dumplings-245
Chinese food is evil, so I'm eating it again. Hey, I never said I would make any sense during this journey. :o)

1 c. chow mein-237
1 pork dumpling-82
...aaaaaannnnd this is why I can only have Chinese food once in a blue moon. I'm an addict, I tell you, an addict! On the plus side, the chow mein is pretty much gone. That's my favorite. I do have some non-Cantonese style chicken chow mein, but it pales in comparison.

1 breaded, pan-fried pork chop-325
1/4 pot cream of mushroom rice-262
1/2 c. broccoli-27

tomato-30

2 pork dumplings-164 That's it, I swear...mostly because they're all gone now...

1 c. 2% milk-130
1 pumpkin spice chocolate chip cookie-126

Running Total: 1984
Left for Today: 16

Water: 12 c.
No worries about the water, guys--I'm REALLY thirsty today! D'ya s'pose it might have anything to do with the Chinese food? ;op

Exercise:

Shopping for at least 1 hour: -240

Hey, that's pretty good! Exercise and almost all the food I need for a month!