New Year's Eve Day

Wow, it's the last day of 2009 already. I remember so clearly all the hullabaloo over 2000! Makes me feel old.

It is YUCKY here again today. It's -21°C, which is horrendously cold, and it's gray (again) and snowing. I hope my car starts, because I have to go to the chiropractor at 1:00.

I have a New Year's party to go to tonight. Unlike the Christmas Eve one I was supposed to go to at someone else's house, it looks like this one will not be cancelled. I think it will be fun! We usually either sit at home on New Year's Eve, or go to the in-laws and sit around. Every year I think that next year, I'm going to go to Vegas for New Year's, but I never do. Now this year I thought: Do I really want to go to Vegas for New Year's? Is that not possibly the worst time ever to go somewhere like Vegas? I think it just might be. But maybe not.

I was 196.2 this morning. Not too shabby compared to the previous few days. I don't know why it's down a bit--I ate too much (again) yesterday. I really need to stop that. But not today, because I don't know what kind of snackies there will be at the party. But the plan is not to go overboard the rest of the day.

My girl's night now has 10 supposedly confirmed attendees. But that includes one girl who always says she's coming to things and never shows. So I might be able to count on 9 so far. I've decided that we're going to a Korean restaurant this time.

I read two day's worth of pages on The Poisonwood Bible yesterday. Maybe I can finish it up today or tomorrow, and get it back early. That would be nice.

I'm off Christmas leftovers now. I'm so happy, I can't even tell you how happy I am.

Calories Today:

2 breaded, pan-fried pork chops-470
1/4 pot cream of mushroom rice-225

2 caramel Ghirardelli squares-140

Running Total: 835
Left for Today: 965

Water: 0/98 oz.

Exercise:

What To Say?

Today is dark and gray and cold. Yesterday was so nice and sunny. Makes me sad. Plus my husband was cranky this morning. I hate that. Crankiness is only acceptable when I do it. ;o)

I forgot to weigh myself this morning, but after breakfast and some water I see I'm at 197.8. It's probably not much higher than I actually was, so not that great today. I'm being really hard on myself about it because I did so much better last year. Not hard enough to change it yet, though. I really need to get back into the right frame of mind. I've always been afraid to lose that frame of mind, and now I have. I hope it comes back soon.

I got an email from Amazon yesterday, letting me know that two of the three new exercise DVDs I ordered were shipped out. Yay! I knew the other one would take longer because it wasn't in stock. I'm looking forward to receiving the two, though. I really need to get a DVD player for downstairs.

I'm moving right along on The Poisonwood Bible, which is easy because it's really good. I'm not even done yet, but I highly recommend it. I think it's too icky out today to go out anywhere, so I guess I'll have lots of time to keep reading.

Calories Today:

1 egg + 1/4 c. egg whites + 1/4 c. 1% milk-128

ham-183
stuffing-218
mustard/horseradish/honey-10

1 Lindt ball-73
1 dark Ferrero-55
1 caramel Ghirardelli square-70

salad-20
30 g romano-120
1 breaded, pan-fried pork chop-283
1/4 pot cream of mushroom rice-225

super passion flakie-350
1 c. 1% milk-110
5 caramel Kisses-106

1 c. 1% milk-110
1 caramel Ghirardelli square-70
1 dark Ferrero-55
1 Lindt chocoalte ball-73

Running Total: 2131
Left for Today: -331

Water: 54/99 oz.

Exercise:

The Fates Are Conspiring Against Me

I just had a call from Sarah asking me if I wanted to go out for breakfast. Which, of course, I would love to, although it would be better for my weight loss if I stayed home. But, a long time ago I decided that this had to be realistic and sustainable, which meant not saying, "I can't..." about most things if I could help it. As in, "I can't go out for breakfast." Because that's not sustainable, is it? Sometimes, you just are going to go out for breakfast.

Now I'm sort of struggling between that reality and the one that says I really can't or I won't lose. *sigh*

Oh well, maybe we'll split something. It will probably be both breakfast and lunch, anyway. I was 196.6 this morning, which I thought was higher than yesterday, but it turns out it was the same. I definitely want to get some sort of exercise in today. I've been slacking on that big time.

I'm going to put some of my Christmas presents into action today. I've already got my Klean Kanteen washed, filled, and ready to go, and I'm working on figuring out my mp3 player. I'm going to take it on a walk with me one of these days. It might be nice to have music when I walk, instead of just my own thoughts.

My poor husband hurt his back this morning, but he went to work anyway. He said he had no choice. I'm sure he has a choice, but we bought a TV yesterday, and it ended up costing a lot more than we thought when it was all said and done. So I guess that's what he was thinking of.

We ended up buying a Sony Bravia because the Sharp Aquos was sold out, and the Sony was the best deal anyway. BUT, we have to wait for it. They only have it in the warehouse in Edmonton, and it won't be delivered for 2 weeks! We should get it by January 15th. I do not like to wait, but I do want a new TV. I'm sure we'll appreciate it even more by the time it comes in.

I guess after breakfast and maybe a bit of exercise, I'll have to work some more on my book. I have to read 78 pages per day to get it done by the time it has to go back, and I read 101 pages yesterday. Yes, I calculate these things.

Calories Today:

@Cora's:

Eggs Ben et Dictine(brie & mushroom)-500(?)

ham-205
stuffing-218

3/4 c. 1% milk-83
decorated gingerbread man-120

ham-144
stuffing-218

mustard/horseradish/honey sauce-20

Running Total: 1508
Left for Today: 292

Water: 54/98 oz.

Exercise:

TV Help

So, we had settled on a Sharp Aquos TV, but then I posted a question on Facebook about the best LCD HD TV out there, and got two "Samsung" responses. Anyone here have an opinion? Is Samsung better than the other brands?

Anyway, I was 196.6 this morning. Damn brunch. Or maybe it was the few-too-many chocolates I had last night. I have a busy morning--chiropractor, library, doctor for a prescription refill. Hopefully I can get in and out quick today, and not wait for 10 hours for nothing like last time I went. I learned last time that you can make appointments for prescription refills, though (and only that--they're a walk-in and otherwise don't take appointments). So I have an appointment this time.

Then of course there's all the reading I have to do. I started on The Poisonwood Bible this morning. I guess I'll put everything else off so that I can finish it before it has to go back. Hopefully I can finish it in time!

Is anyone else sick of turkey yet? Monday is normally my much-loved meal, of pork chops, night. But my husband says we gotta keep working on the turkey. Hmph. Oh well, at least I won't have to cook. Although I usually get him to do the pork chops.

I think today will involve cleaning the kitchen back to some semblance of pleasantness. It's not bad, just messy. I also need to condense all the food in the fridge into smaller containers. I think we've eaten enough now to be able to do that.

Anyway, in spite of all my babbling I don't have much to say today.

Calories Today:

1 egg + 1/4 c. egg whites + 1/4 c. 1% milk-128

turkey-109
mashed potatoes-103
gravy-30
parsnips-30
stuffing muffin-109
cranberry sauce-53
mixed vegetables-30

Lindt chocolate ball ornament-130

decorated gingerbread man-120

ham-176
mustard/horseradish/honey sauce- ~10
180 g stuffing-218
yam-56
parsnips-32

decorated gingerbread man-120
3/4 c. 1% milk-83

Running Total: 1537
Left for Today: 263

Water: 48/98 oz.

Exercise:

Today

I was 195.6 this morning. Then we went for brunch. Oops.

Did I mention I'm waiting for some fresh new Richard Simmons DVDs to come in? I need a DVD player downstairs. I prefer to do my workouts downstairs, but I only have a VCR down there.

In the next few days I'll be doing a LOT of reading, because one of my books, The Poisonwood Bible, is due back on Jan. 4th, and I can't renew it because it has a bunch of holds. And I'm still working on two current books! I should maybe just take it back and put myself back on the hold list, but I'm probably too stubborn to actually do that.

So brunch was kinda bad, but then we walked around stores a lot, so I'm hoping that it helped a bit. We're looking for an LCD 46" HD TV. When we finally settled on buying one at Future Shop, we discovered that they would be closed. Maybe tomorrow. Right now we're stuck with a little 21" because our other one died a few months ago. But it was only a 32" anyway. I like the ones with a really clear picture.

Calories Today:

brunch-800(?)

turkey-120
mashed potatoes-154
gravy-51
parsnips-38
stuffing-109
cranberry sauce-56
vegetables-30

I'm getting a bit sick of turkey. That's what brunch was about.

Running Total: 1358
Left for Today: 442

Water: 0/98 oz.

Exercise:

walking around stores...???

Boxing Day Reality Check

Well, now that I've told you all about my loot, I guess it's time to get back to reality. I have a fridge full of food, but I can deal! I can, dammit! We made way too much food, although I know a few people want more leftovers, so maybe it's not as much as I think. Anyway, it's back to weighing and measuring today.

Christmas dinner went well, I think. The turkey turned out really well, which is amazing to me because neither of us have ever made a turkey before. We cooked it upside down to keep the breast tender, and it worked out nicely. We also used both our stuffings, but then we couldn't tell whose was whose until we tasted it! So they're all mixed up anyway. But I also made some separate stuffing muffins if I want to be sure I'm getting my own.

So, for my part, I got my husband a GPS and some little stocking stuffers (chocolates, lottery tickets, and assorted other doo-dads). Does anyone know how to get different voices for the GPS? I want him to have Yoda and other weird ones! LOL. I couldn't tell when I bought it if it had that option (which it didn't), but can you download them from somewhere?

I got my dad a heated seat for his car (or it can be used in the house, too. It heats up, or in the summer it has a fan to cool you down, and it vibrates. He is working as a security guard where he drives a lot, so I think it will be useful for him. I got it on an amazing sale at Canadian Tire (over $50 off!).

My poor neglected kitties did not get any wrapped presents this year, but they did get some special treats. They don't play with any of their toys very often, preferring instead to play with milk jug rings and my hair elastics. ;o) Straws would probably be a big hit, too.

Well, I think I've gone on long enough.

Oops--one more thing: I was 197.8 this morning. But not for long!

Calories Today:

my last blueberry-cranberry scone-160
spray butter-0

turkey-78
mashed potatoes-112
gravy-41
parsnips-67
yam-78
stuffing-109
cranberry sauce-60
spray butter-0

Lindt chocolate bell-130

turkey-103
vegetables-30
ham-61
mashed potatoes-128
gravy-51
parsnips-29
stuffing muffin-109
cranberry sauce-71

2 shortbread cookies-160
16 g candied cherries-43
3/4 c. Skim Plus milk-83
3 caramel Kisses-63

Running Total: 1766
Left for Today: 34

Water: 48/99 oz.

Exercise:

Mah Loot

First of all, our Christmas tree on Christmas Eve:

One of Santa’s little helpers:

Now for the loot!

My stocking:

Which contained the following items:

I’m so excited to have a permanent water bottle that can go in the dishwasher! Also there was Healing Garden body spray (Jasmine-scented), chocolates, exfoliating gloves, and cute little Christmas tree earrings.

The Christmas tree earrings were wrapped in a balloon!

Gifts from my husband that were under the tree:

A hair straightener (which I would like to learn to use to make ringlets like I’ve seen them do in the mall kiosks):

And an MP3 player (now I can take music on my walks! Woot!):

It’s actually a dark blue, but flash made it look light.

From my Dad:

An electric fireplace, which I love:

I’ve always wanted a fireplace, and since we don’t have one in our house, a fake one will do nicely. I actually saw a big one in WalMart that can be extended to go in a corner, and someday I’d like one of those as well. Fireplaces everywhere! Yay!

A vest:

I love everything about this vest—the colour, the feel (it’s so soft!)—everything! I’m not usually much of a vest person, but I can think of a million reasons to wear something like this. :o)

A book, which I suspect my Dad wanted for himself, because he wants to borrow it after I’m done with it…and he kept asking me if I’d read it yet, even though Christmas wasn’t even over yet, and even though I told him I have to finish my library books before I read anything else:

And this little bell pin that changes colours. Well, this wasn’t a wrapped gift, but he brought one over for each of us (my husband’s is a candy cane):

There will be a few more, as I haven’t yet seen my mom and brother. Also, every year I get a cheque from my Grandma for about $30, and I got that a few weeks ago. :o)

Also, it wasn't really for Christmas, but on Christmas Eve my husband found some anti-fatigue flooring (interlocking foam mats) that we put in front of the sink and oven in the kitchen--sooo nice to walk on! I swear just walking on them makes my back feel better.

Now, there is one thing I hoped for which that fat bastar—oops, I mean Santa (gotta make sure I don’t go on the naughty list for next year!)—didn’t bring me this year: new Richard Simmons DVDs! So I ordered some for myself this morning. Merry Christmas to me! LOL

Merry Christmas!

I don't know if I'll get a chance to get on here tomorrow, so just in case, I hope you all have a safe and very Merry Christmas!

Let's Have a Quickie

A quickie post, that is! Tsk, tsk! Get your minds out of the gutter! ;o)

I have too much wrapping still to do. All the other stuff would be much easier if my husband just listened to me and did what I said. Stubborn bastud! LOL

I was 196.2 this morning. Not great, but much better than yesterday. I'm hangin' on so far today.

Calories Today:

1 stuffed pepper half-155

Well, with the rushing around and not having anything available for lunch, it ended up being wings and French onion soup. Sooo...not so good. Then I had two scones (1 with butter), 1.5 cups of milk, a homemade Shirley Temple, a slice of homemade bread (it was supposed to be dinner time but when I ran the pizza dough through the bread maker the first time, I forgot to put the kneading blade in. So I had to do it again, which meant waiting for another hour and a half), 2 pieces of pizza with a tablespoon of light Ranch...I dunno what this all adds up to but I bet it's over 1800.

Tomorrow I don't think I'll count but I'm not entirely sure yet. We shall see. It would be easy enough considering dinner (lunch) is at my house this year. But do I want to bother? I don't know.

Running Total: 155 *piffle*
Left for Today: 1645 *piffle*

Water: 0/98 oz.

Exercise:

Oh Dear...So Not Good...

Arrrgh! I'm 197.8 this morning. Geez. I knew I kind of fell apart with the eating yesterday, but I didn't think it would be that bad.

I'm out of treats, though...no cookies, no chocolates (well, some old ones I found in the fridge, but not much at all), no chips, etc. So that's probably a good thing. Of course I do have a couple more parties to go to...

Yesterday my Dad asked me if I wanted to go out for lunch, and in a moment of weakness I said yes. I was going to have just scrambled eggs, because I had a big breakfast. It all went downhill from there. So I guess I'll actually have to behave myself from now on. And I'm sure that more intense exercise will have to be in my future. I did make myself a fun new playlist yesterday, so that should help.

I got the kitchen mostly cleaned yesterday. For reasons that are utterly inexplicable to me, my husband keeps saying he has to clean, but he's only been cleaning rooms that nobody will be in--like our bedroom and his computer room. These are rooms where we could shut the door, and nobody would be the wiser.

Of course it's nice that they're clean, but I think the focus now needs to really be on the living room and the basement rec room where we're setting up the tables. I think that should have been the priority in the first place, really. I guess I'll try to work on at least the living room today. And I have to wrap all the presents...and maybe pick up a few more stocking stuffers for G...and figure out what's for dinner...and go to the chiropractor...and read my books (I want to be done the two I'm reading now by Christmas). Busy busy, again.

Calories Today:

1 egg + 1/4 c. egg whites + 1/4 c. Skim Plus milk-128

tiny piece baklava (darn chiropractor and his treats)-107

chicken & cheese chimichanga-300
1 crab cake-160
1 T light Ranch-35

4 stuffed pepper halves (wuz starving!)-620

3/4 c. Skim Plus milk-83
1 blueberry-cranberry scone-160

3/4 c. Skim Plus milk-83
1 blueberry-cranberry scone-160

Running Total: 1836
Left for Today: -36

Water: 72/99 oz.

Exercise:

64 minutes dancing in my living room: -500

Busy Busy Busy

I don't much like being busy, really. But I have to clean the kitchen, probably should work on the bathroom, need to wrap gifts, should get a few more stocking stuffers for G...I don't know what else, but I'm sure there's more.

I think I'll count my kitchen cleaning as exercise today. Make it have a benefit besides looking pretty. :o) I meant to clean it yesterday, but somehow my "little afternoon nap" that I had planned on turned into sleeping all afternoon. I must have needed it, though. But then I had a bit of trouble falling asleep last night, although not as much as the night before.

I'm a little nervous now about having Christmas dinner at our house. We usually have some quiet time on Christmas morning where we open our presents, but this year it sounds like everyone will be arriving early to help.

*snip*

Tonight is my TOPS dinner--a BUFFET!!! Who's brilliant idea was this!? Ah, well, that's what I get for skipping meetings.

I was 196.2 today, which is up from yesterday, and I was well-behaved yesterday. What gives!?

Calories Today:

leftover breaded, pan-fried pork chop-308
1/4 pot cream of mushroom rice-225

Running Total: 533
Left for Today: 1267

Water: 24/98 oz.

Exercise:

84 minutes cleaning: -572
28 minutes cleaning: -178
Total: -750

Facing the Music

I was 195.6 this morning. Actually, I forget what comes after the point. But it was something like that. I suppose it could have been worse with my weekend of not watching or counting.

I still don't feel like my head's in the game, and it's going to be a difficult week. Tomorrow is my TOPS Christmas dinner, Thursday is a party, Friday is Christmas, etc. But like I said yesterday, I'm going to just do the best I can. Part of the difficulty is that with being more busy than I'm used to with shopping and stuff, the meal plan kind of goes out the window--especially on weekends. And then we end up getting takeout from somewhere. I do much better with a plan.

I don't have much to say today.

*snip*

I didn't get much sleep last night. I don't know what my problem was, but I just couldn't get comfortable, and even when I did, I still couldn't sleep. I did take a nap in the evening, so maybe that's it. Although it's not like naps are foreign to me.

I'm still slogging my way through Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West, but I'm not finding it terribly gripping. So I've also started to read Catcher in the Rye. I don't know if I'm going to find it terribly gripping either, but at least it's short.

Anyway. Off to do...well, something.

Calories Today:

banana-90

2 pieces naan bread-158
~1/2 c. Lundberg brown jasmine rice-160
leftover chicken tikka (~1/2 c.)-130 (guessing)

1/3 (50 g) chocolate Santa-250

1 breaded, pan-fried pork chop-308
1/4 pot cream of mushroom rice-225
salad-20

18 g tortilla chips-90
1/4 c. salsa-25
1/3 (50 g) chocolate Santa-250
15 g jalapeno jack cheese-55
3/4 c. Skim Plus milk-110

Running Total: 1871
Left for Today: -71

Water: 72/98 oz.

Exercise:

Why Is It Harder This Year?

Seriously, I found it so easy last year to avoid all the temptations. This year, not so much.

My weekend...well, obviously I took a break from blogging. I probably shouldn't have, but it started out crappy and just stayed that way pretty much. For example, I had a banana and leftover Spanish rice for breakfast yesterday. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Then we went out for lunch, where I ordered chicken souvlaki and was presented with a HUGE platter of salad, potatoes, rice, chicken souvlaki, garlic toast...I didn't eat it all, but I probably ate more than I needed to. That was dinner, too (and no, I still didn't eat it all). There may or may not have been a calamari with tzatziki appetizer, too...

Today I actually think I did better, quite by accident. We went out for breakfast, and I had eggs, bacon, and 1 pancake with butter and jam. Bad. But, that was also lunch. And then I had chicken tikka for dinner, but didn't eat it all. Also a little snack of 1/3 of a chocolate Santa, one mini butter tart, and a glass of milk. Bad for nutrition, maybe, but I don't think it was so bad for calories altogether. Of course I could be wrong. But I still think it was better than yesterday.

Anyway, I suspect this week is going to be difficult, and I will just have to do the best I can. I've been invited to a Christmas Eve party, as well as a New Year's party next week. Party, party, party. So not me, lol.

Cleaning & Decorating

My husband tells me that those are our plans for the day. I didn't sign up for this. Help! I don't like cleaning with other people. I vant to be alone! LOL

My cat is exploring the deflated body of one of those outdoor blow-up decorations, which is lying on our living room floor at the moment. It's pretty funny.

So I was 193.8 this morning. Must have been all that exercise I got yesterday. :-D First I did some dancing in my living room, and then later on we went for a drive because I wanted to show G this decorated snow-cave that I saw in a front yard near Sarah's house the other day. While we were up there, we were near a park called Confederation Park, which is decorated with a light display every year. So we went and walked through the park to see the display. We ended up trudging through very deep snow at one point, so that burns more calories than normal walking. I wish I had been wearing my heart-rate monitor!

I'm stressing out a little bit about my next girl's night out. I know it's supposed to be fun, so I'm being silly, but I cannot think of one single restaurant that I know would be suitable. At least, not that doesn't cost an arm and a leg.

I got invited to a New Year's Eve party via Facebook yesterday. Woot! I like having plans! :o) Especially plans where I'm allowed to bring my husband with me, because I'm a big baby. So I'm looking forward to it.

Calories Today:

None yet.

Running Total: 0
Left for Today: 1800

Water: 0/97 oz.

Exercise:

Calories...*Yawn*

I keep getting up later than I had intended, and then not getting anything done that I want to get done. Dang it!

So, after last night, I was 195.6 this morning. Not liking that number, but I can change it. I'm trying to convince myself that I can. I mean I know I can, but it's not sinking in these days. It's like, "oh, that's just a mini butter tart...my body won't even notice." But my body does notice, even if I forget about it myself. Or, "oh, half an hour of exercise burns about 300 calories? So what? It won't make any difference. Might as well stay here on the couch where it's easy." Of course, it will make a difference, but try telling my evil self-sabotaging side that these days.

Oh, and then there's the, "oh, this is good enough where you're at. Don't head for any lower weights--it's too scary down there. Stay here in the 190s. You're comfortable here. And if you slip over the 200-lb mark, you'll be even more comfortable..." Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!

Wow, I think I actually just wrote what subconsiously must go through my head. Clearly I need to extract or suffocate the evil, self-sabotaging side somehow.

Calories Today:

~1/2 c. leftover risotto-200(?)

1 Smart Ones quesadilla-220
1/2 c. Spanish rice-114
1 tomato-45

1 slices of my delicious an' wunnerful homemade pizza-492
1 T light Ranch-35

3/4 c. 1% milk-83
2 mini butter tarts-298

little bit of pineapple-20(?)

Running Total: 1507
Left for Today: 293

Water: 48/98 oz.

Exercise:

41 minutes dancing in my living room: -401

also trudging through the snow at a park to look at their light display--I don't know but I bet at least 200 more.

Girl’s Night Out—Success!

There ended up being 5 attendees, which was nice. Although in ALL of our pictures, I was at a horrible angle! I’m on the left, and then there’s Sarah, Jennifer, Marietha, and Kristy. Um, and some lady’s head in the foreground. Oops:

Here we all are with our waiter. Unfortunately my giant head is pretty much blocking Sarah:

I ordered the seafood risotto, and it was delicious:

And for dessert, I ordered Zabbaione, but I didn’t like it. I thought I would like it because I like the one that the Olive Garden has in the summer. This one tasted like foamy wine, and I don’t even like wine:

All in all it was a great night! Everyone kept the conversation flowing; everyone seemed to get along well—I was happy it turned out so well! Oh, and the ambiance was nice, too. It would be a really good restaurant for a romantic evening. Well, if it was less busy it would be. They said it’s busy like that near Christmas every year.

Now I’m trying to figure out where to go for my next girl’s night out! I think the date I want is January 21, but for the life of me I can’t think of a place. I have too many specifications.

I’m going to do my calories in another post because of formatting issues in picture posts.

Excited...Sort Of.

Tonight is my girl's night! I'm excited, but I'd be more so if people would quit dropping out on me. :o( I'm down to six people, and I've met everyone who's now coming at least once. So no one completely new to me. I was kind of hoping there would be.

I do think I'll make it a regular thing, though. I'd like to make it a monthly thing, but it might end up being bi-monthly. We shall see. Cost is a factor, but then again what's wrong with once a month? Besides the fact that G and I eat out pretty much every weekend? Oh yeah, that. LOL

So here's the menu. What should I order? It all looks delicious! If I end up ordering an appetizer, it would probably be the carpaccio because I've wanted to try that for quite some time. But if I don't order an appetizer, I can afford the grilled seafood platter. Yum! And then there are pastas, of course. And risotto. I find I like risotto more than I would have thought.

Oh well, I guess I'll figure it out when I get there. :o) And now I CAN get there, because my husband got me a new battery yesterday! Whoop-whoop! I hope my back holds up with all that sitting.

Yesterday I had a moment of insanity and made butter tarts. I've never made them before, but Jaime posted an easy recipe awhile ago. I asked G to bring home tart shells, but the regular ones were all sold out so he bought mini tart shells instead. I guess it's for the best...the mini butter tarts I made are still 149 calories EACH! Although I think I'd cut the butter a bit next time. They turned out a tiny bit too greasy. I want one but I don't NEED one, so I'm happy with that. So far.

Oh yeah--I was 194.8 this morning.

Calories Today:

1 egg + 1/4 c. egg whites + 1/4 c. 1% milk-128
pineapple-55

chicken & rice burrito-387

1 mini butter tart-149

Running Total: 719
Left for Today: 1081

Water: 24/97 oz.

Exercise:

Plus Temperatures!

Woo-hoo! That's one "plus size" I'm happy to experience. It's a balmy 2°C out there right now.

Sadly, my car battery is totally dead so my car still won't start. Well, my husband tried it yesterday morning and it started, but it wouldn't start when he got home even though it was warmer outside then. It all boils down to I need a new battery. He tried to get me one yesterday, but couldn't find one. I hope he can today because it's my girl's night tomorrow! I guess I could drive his truck, but I don't like to. It's the same size as my car in reality, but it just feels bigger and more unwieldy.

Yesterday I overate, but this morning I'm down to 194.6. So I'm pleased with that even though I don't understand it. I was so hungry yesterday! It was weird. I had that jittery feeling you sometimes get when you need to eat, but I ate and it didn't go away.

I finished The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl last night. It was a really great book! Now I'm reading Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West. I just started it, but I love the concept of taking an old classic and giving it a twist from an unexpected perspective.

I've been thinking about how complacent I've gotten, and I've decided it's because I'm so much more comfortable at my current weight. Physically, not mentally, although I notice I get treated differently at this weight than I did 45 lbs ago, so I guess there's some mental stuff in there, too. But on days like today, where my back hurts especially badly, it is easier to remember that more weight loss means even less pressure on my joints, especially my back/hips and my knees. I just want to be lighter. I want to feel lighter. I already do, but I want more. I sort of feel like I'm made out of lead this morning, so that's probably where this is coming from.

Calories Today:

50 g kolbassa-100
grapes-50
pineapple-50

85 g spaghetti-300
~1/2 c. meat sauce-120
30 g romano-120

tomato-52

chicken & rice burrito-547 (Homemade! Mmmm!)

3/4 c. 1% milk-83
3 mini butter tarts-447 Oops...
25 g kolbassa-50
10 g Cheecha Krackles-45

Running Total: 1964
Left for Today: -164

Water: 72/97 oz.

Exercise:

We're Havin' a Heatwave!...A Tropical Heatwave...

Cookies to whoever gets the reference. :p No, wait, this is a healthy-living (well, sort of) blog...a sensible portion of your 3 favorite fruits for the reference!

It's only -20°C today. That's almost balmy. Well, not quite, but after -32°C, I'll take it. I can't wait for the plus temperatures! Supposed to happen tomorrow, baby! Now what am I supposed to brag about, though? It's almost a matter of pride for me. I live in a really cold country sometimes! Nyah nyah! So do most of the people who read my blog, so it's especially pathetic, really, lol. Edmonton (about 3 hours from here) was the coldest place on Earth a couple of days ago, according to my mom. And recently their power went out. I can't imagine how they survived it. No power? No power means your heater might work, but it won't blow. Brrr! Do they all have generators? Fireplaces? Maybe they do.

My husband managed to get my car started with the help of a battery pack that he borrowed from his brother. Whatever that is. I do not know if my car will start without it, though, and I still probably need a new battery. Hopefully it will either still work in warmer temperatures, or I'll be able to get a new battery by my girl's night on Thursday. I'm sure something will work out. The only thing that would prevent me from getting a battery is my current aversion to the stores. They're scary right now!

I got my Dad to drive me around to all the places I needed to go yesterday, so I took him out for lunch for his trouble. Today I don't think I really need to go anywhere until TOPS tonight, and it won't particularly break my heart if I have to call them and tell them that my car won't start.

So, Christmas is supposed to be at our house this year. *snip*
Neither of us have ever done a turkey before. Wish us luck! We have different stuffing ideas, so we're going to put a little of mine in one end of the turkey, and the rest will be the one he and the rest of them like. I'll do the rest of mine in calorie-controlled muffin form, but I want just a little from inside the actual turkey. It's all about compromise, people.

*snip*

I was 196.6 this morning. I don't know why I was so high, but my scale is still acting stupid. I did drink a lot of water yesterday...

Calories Today:

1 breaded, pan-fried pork chop-317
1/4 pot cream of mushroom rice-225

101 g pomegranate arils-84

25 g kolbassa-50
10 g Cheecha Krackles-45
1 tomato-58

2 cherry chocolates-150

200 g (cooked) spaghetti-300
1/2 c. meat sauce-120
40 g romano-160

2 cherry chocolates-150

1 more cherry chocolate-75

128 g pomegranate arils-106

50 g kolbassa-100
10 g Cheecha Krackles-45

1 T peanut butter-90
25 g milk chocolate chips-133

Running Total: 2208
Left for Today: -408 Crap. Again. I'm crazy hungry and I don't know why!

Water:72/98 oz.

Exercise:

So.Freakin'.Cold!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you know what the temperature is out there in Calgary today? Do you want to know? Too bad; I'm going to tell you anyway. It's -32°C this morning. That's -26°F. It's so cold that although I have the heat turned WAY up (to 72°F--for some reason our thermostat is in Fahrenheit), the cold is coming in anyway. I don't even think it's a draft. It's like it's permeating the walls. All I want to do is crawl into bed under my heated blanket, wearing 500 layers of clothing, and wait for the end. Or, you know, read. Whatever.

But no. I have to go out to the chiropractor and then do a bit of grocery shopping. That's assuming that my husband remembered to plug in my car, 'cause if not I bet I ain't going anywhere. And I should probably go to the library while I'm out to pick up one of my books that came in, too.

In other news, this morning I think I was around 196.0. The scale was all over the place again. I can't say as my eating was exactly healthy yesterday (too many leftovers!), but I did at least stay under my calories. Today's plan is to stay under 1800 calories, drink all my water, and make sure to get in some vegetables and fruits.

Yesterday I did end up going to that girl's group lunch. There were 4 of us there, and one was Sarah because I brought her with me. It said you could invite friends, although I was the only one who did. Oops. The more the merrier, though, right? It was fun. The two that we met seem like really nice people. The food and service wasn't great, but oh well. Can't win 'em all. The only thing was that Sarah merrily told them about how my brother had been stalking her. I kind of prefer to keep the enormity of the craziness of my family from most people as long as possible, lol. But I have pretty much decided that my brother is not going to ever meet any new friends I might make ever again (unless they're married...he leaves Shyla alone because she's married).

And guess what else I got invited to by some members of that group yesterday? Vegas! A weekend in February. It's fun to think about, but I don't think I'll go. I don't know them at all and I'd feel guilty about going somewhere without my husband when I know he wants to go there, too. Plus he told me before we got married that he doesn't like the idea of separate vacations for a married couple. He seems to have toned that down a lot (he said I should go if I wanted), but I'd still feel bad about leaving him behind. Plus there's the cost, which I could cover but I prefer to keep my money.

Well, I better go see if my car's plugged in and I'll also have to scrape the hardened frost off of it.

EDIT: My car's plugged in and it STILL won't start! Hopefully it just needs a little more time.

EDIT#2: Nope. It's dead. The cold murdered my car battery. :o(

Calories Today:

1 egg + 1/4 c. egg whites + 1/4 c. 1% milk-128
1/2 c. grapes-71 <--this is a Canada's Food Rainbow serving of fruit.

@La Dona:
tortilla chips w/tiny bit spicy avocado dip-70 (only ate a few)
chicken burrito-500(?) (I'm going by Taco Time's Ranch chicken burrito, because it sounded the closest and I think it's closest in size, but theirs is smothered in Ranch and mine wasn't smothered in anything. And theirs is actually only 479 calories or something like that).

1 breaded, pan-fried pork chop-317
1/4 pot cream of mushroom rice-225
salad-20

1 li'l shortbread cookie-47

2 chocolate cherries-150
50 g kolbassa-100
10 g Cheecha Krackles-45
hot chocolate-150(?)

Running Total: 1823
Left for Today: -23

Water: at least 98/98 oz.

Exercise:

What Can I Say?

Yesterday turned into a binge, the likes of which I haven't done for over a year. I'm horrified that I slipped into it so easily. I feel like an alcoholic who's been clean and sober for a year, who suddenly threw it all away and went on a bender. At least, I imagine that's what they would feel like. Crappy.

I don't know why I did it. Luckily, the damage wasn't too great...not sure of the exact weight because the scale kept changing, but the highest I saw was 196.0. I didn't sleep very well, though, and I woke up feeling kind of sick.

Today I have plans to go out for lunch with Sarah and some of the girls in that Facebook group I've been talking about. I feel like I don't deserve to go, but I already said I would and I don't feel right about telling myself I don't "deserve" something because of a moment (okay, a day) of weakness. The weather is -28°C and the roads are crappy--I'm sure that's punishment enough.

I feel like something needs to change for me right now, but I'm not sure what. Maybe new exercise classes, DVDs, different foods...I don't know. I'm also questioning my involvement in TOPS these days, at least my current meeting. I don't know if it's actually helping me, or if it really ever did. I started losing weight when I started this blog, not when I started at TOPS. And somehow Pictionary and Charades make it feel more like a social club than a weight-loss group.

On the other hand, what if it is helping me somehow, and I don't realize it? What if this is a symptom of a desire to go back to my old ways and not be accountable for it? I don't think it is, but I just don't know.

Calories Today:

2 walnuts-52

chicken fajita wrap-400(?)
maybe 2 T sour cream-51
salsa-6(?)
sweet potato fries (not all of them)-120(?)
maybe 2 T Ranch dressing-145
hot chocolate-120(?)

1 c. chow mein-237
2 pork dumplings-163
1 dry rib-60

1 c. 1% milk-110
20 g Cheecha Krackles-90
2 "Christmassy" chocolate chip cookies-170
1 chocolate cherry-75

Running Total: 1799
Left for Today: 1

Water: 48/98 oz.

Exercise:

Deep Freeze

It is COLD here today! At the moment it's -25°C, and it's supposed to stay like this or a bit colder all weekend. Then it looks like the weather is supposed to improve by the middle of next week, which hopefully means that it will be fairly nice on my girl's night! Yay!

Speaking of the girl's night, I found out that the restaurant I had originally planned on closed down. So I had to pick a different one, which I guess looks good, too. I can't remember if I've been there before or not. Also someone else from that Facebook group I joined set up a "Ladies' Lunch" meetup for tomorrow. It's a bit further than I'd prefer to drive, but I still want to go. I don't think the roads will be too slippery with it being so cold. Hopefully my car starts!

I was 194.8 this morning, and that was only because the scale kept going up. I got 194.4 the first time, 194.6 a couple of times, but then 194.8 three times, so I took that. Stupid scale. Still, that's coming down nicely. I haven't been so good about the exercise for the past couple of days, but I've been trying really hard to keep control of my eating.

I dunno what's up for today yet.

Calories Today:

1 egg + 1/4 c. egg whites + 1/4 c. 1% milk-128
couple of mushrooms, broken up-not enough to count
few leaves of baby spinach, torn up-not enough to count
30 g fat-free ham-25
10 g part-skim mozza-27
tomato-21

Mmmm...it was supposed to be an omelette but it turned into more of a scramble...it was still good.

~1 c. chicken soup-119
2 mozza sticks & 2 jalapeno poppers-330
1 T light Ranch-35

Running Total: Fuck.
Left for Today: KABOOM!

Water: 72/97 oz.

Exercise:

Me So Tired...

It's so cold and snowy here that it was very hard to haul myself out of bed this morning. All I wanted to do was snuggle down under the blankets with a kitty or two. And yet here I sit. *sigh* On the other hand, it's a great day to curl up with a good book, such as The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl.

So...I ate a little over my calories yesterday, but not by as much as I would have thought. So that's good. I think--I think--I'm done making cookies. I've made my chocolate chips with walnuts, and I also baked up a shortbread mix that my mother-in-law gave me yesterday. I ate a few too many last night, but I sent most of the remains to work with my husband. I see he left me four cookies, so I put two in the freezer.

The only cookie danger I can see from here on out is if I get an uncontrollable urge to experiment with applesauce in place of part of the butter in my chocolate chip cookies again. But maybe I just won't get that urge. Maybe I've made just about enough cookies lately and should have it out of my system by now, right? Right!

Unfortunately, G went shopping yesterday and came home with three boxes of Queen Anne's cherry chocolates. Three! What did he think we needed three for?! Those are my favorite cherry chocolates. I haven't had any yet, though.

I was 195.6 this morning. Not great still, but MUCH better than yesterday and the past few days before that. :o)

Calories Today:

2 slices proscuitto-70
1 25 g slice homemade bread-58
15 grapes-52

~1 c. chicken soup-119
36 g slice homemade bread-84
1 shortbread cookie-148
1 cherry chocolate-75

1 more shortbread cookie-148
1 more cherry chocolate-75

2 slices of my delicious an' wunnerful homemade pizza-492
1 mozza stick-80
1 jalapeno popper-85
1 T light Ranch-35

1 mozza stick-80
1 jalapeno popper-85

Running Total: 1686
Left for Today: 114

Water: 48/98 oz.

Exercise:

The World Isn't Big Enough for the Both of Us

Somethin' funny happened to me on the way to pay the rent the chiropractor today.

I was driving along, minding my own business, when I saw a man on the side of the road who was walking on the sidewalk towards a house. I SWEAR it was my ex-boyfriend! He had his back to me most of the time, but he had black hair in a ponytail, and he walked strangely, which would make sense because he has cerebral palsy. It looks like it got worse, though, as it used to be hardly noticeable. My mom had said she saw him years ago and it had already gotten worse then, but I didn't believe her because...well, this is my mom we're talking about here. I'm about 98% sure it was him, because I got a bit of a side glimpse of his face, and it looked like him as well.

The very sight of him pissed me off. Political correctness be damned, he is a horrid little man. I started to remember how badly he used to treat me, how he incessantly complained about my weight even when I was only around 140 lbs, and I thought about how if he saw me now, he'd still probably be able to make me feel terrible about getting so heavy, no matter that I've lost 45 lbs so far. He's lucky I was too in shock at the sight of him to remember specifics right then, like the times that he tried to kill my cats, or I might have considered aiming my car at him. Yeah, yeah...there's that pesky jail thing, I know.

The place I saw him? Pretty much in my area. MUCH too close for comfort.

I think it's awfully rude that he has the nerve to exist. Personally.

*Flounce!*

Okay, I think I'm over my diva fit and the whole flouncing out of blogland forevah thing (or whatever it was that was going through my head...I really have no idea now). Until next time, anyway. ;o) I was cranky yesterday morning. Sometimes bad moods sneak up on me. Plus, a couple of people suggested that I just needed a break from it, and I think they were right.

This blog probably does more to help me than just about anything else. Well, normally it does, but lately I have a cookie problem and apparently I'm going to have to deal with that one myself.

I dyed my hair red yesterday, and that made me feel better, too. I love to dye my hair, but it's been ages. It doesn't have much of a colour when left to its own devices--sort of a dark dishwater blonde. In winter it's even worse--it was so dark! And not even a nice dark! In the summer I can let it go because the light shows up all kinds of weird colours contained in it (even green!) but without direct sunlight it just looks horribly mousy.

I did great yesterday until evening. Then I ate too many "snackie" foods, including those Pillsbury cookies that come pre-formed, with the red and green chocolate chips. I saw them on another blog and had to have them. *sigh* MUST.STOP.BEING.SO.SUGGESTIBLE!!! I did send a fair bit to work with my husband, though. At least I hope he took them. Plus I froze some. I don't know if that will help or not, what with the magic of the microwave and all. I have 3 unfrozen ones for the day.

I still made myself exercise, even though I had toyed with the idea of taking a break from that, too. Have you ever done that? Told yourself that you're probably not going to exercise today, right up to the point where there you are, doing it? And even then, taking it in little increments ("I'll just burn 100 calories"...200...250...300) until you find that you've done more than you'd even planned? I ended up burning 400 off yesterday, when I had only planned on 250.

I'm starting on The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl today. Just finished The Picture of Dorian Gray this morning. That one seemed to take forever to read, but the ending was perfect. It just couldn't have been more perfect. There was no other way for it to end.

Anyway, I'm hoping the Dietgirl one influences me in a good way, what with my suggestibility problem and all.

I was 197.0 this morning. This displeases me. And yes, I know that the only one who can change it is me.

Calories Today:

1 egg + 1/3 c. egg whites + 1/4 c. 1% milk-138
spray butter-0
10 grapes-37
14 g slice proscuitto-33
15 g slice proscuitto-35

toasted English muffin-140
55 g "crab" delectables-58
1 T light cream cheese-30
1 slice proscuitto-35
mini Coke Zero-0

2 cookies-170

10 g Cheecha Krackles-45
1 cookie-85

~2 T shortbread cookie dough-128
1 shortbread cookie (made with light butter)-148

1 c. chicken & barley soup-119
86 g homemade bread-202
~1 T light butter-75

1/2 c. light eggnog-120
1 slice proscuitto-35
10 g Cheecha Krackles-45
2 shortbread cookies-296

Running Total: 1974
Left for Today: -174

Water: 72/99 oz.

Exercise:

Help or Hinder?

When I started this blog, I thought it might help me. I had no expectations and didn't really think anyone would ever read it. Then slowly I started to get feedback, which was great. Unfortunately, it's something I've become too reliant on.

My Official Weekly Weigh-In at TOPS

Height: 5'6"
Weight last week: 196.5
Weight this week: 197.5
Verdict: GAIN of 1 lb!

Well, that's not bad for approximately a week of debauchery.

I did not want to go to my meeting tonight, but I started to worry that I was being like a 12-stepper who quit AA or something. So I went, after complaining to my husband that we'd probably just end up playing games again.

Incidentally, tonight's game was Pictionary.

Anyhoo, my back didn't fare too badly tonight because I stole a lumbar pillow from my chiropractor (okay, he gave it to me). It worked quite well. I only started to hurt with about 10 minutes to go in the meeting.

I've decided to do an exercise night at TOPS one of these weeks. I'm going to torment them with a Richard Simmons video/DVD. Why should I have all the fun? ;o) Nobody knows this yet. Well, a few heard me say it, but they thought I was joking. Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

I am being silly tonight, but in reality I'm really struggling.

I am craving sugar like mad, and seem to have gone back to my old habits of popping stuff into my mouth and sort of pretending it doesn't exist. I don't know why I'm being like this or how to get my previous mindset back. I think the next book I read will be Dietgirl's, though, so I'm sort of hoping maybe there's something mentioned in there that will help to get me back on track.

I have been exercising steady the past couple of days, though. At least that's something.

Groggy

I did that thing again where I got up early, then fell asleep again, and now I'm groggy. I hate that feeling! I think it's going away, though.

It's warmer(?) here today--only -15°C. Almost tropical, really. *snicker*

I totally forgot to watch House last night, but then I found out it wasn't on. I exercised, read, and then fell asleep instead. I got a much better sleep last night than I did the night before. I don't even know if our attic squirrel was playing darts. ;o)

This morning I was down a bit, but I'm still not ready to talk about it. Of course I'm always up for weigh-in day.

I want to do something today, but I don't know what. Story of my life. I'm not a big fan of shopping most of the time, it's too cold to want to go swimming (although...), there's probably nothing for me at the library yet (and besides, I have a lot of books to read), so where does that leave me? Nowhere, that's where. I'd just be driving around aimlessly. Maybe that's what I'll do. I feel like if I don't get out, I'll go stir-crazy. I guess I could also go for a walk. Get some exercise.

Calories Today:

1 breaded, pan-fried pork chop-261
1/4 pot cream of mushroom rice-225

2 chocolate chip cookies-210

too many mini cheesecakes-484
10 grapes-34

chicken-artichoke sandwich pocket-260

208 g (cooked) spaghetti-310
1/2 c. meat sauce-120
40 g romano-160
salad-20

3 mini cheesecakes-132

Running Total: 2216
Left for Today: -416

Water:48/98 oz.

Exercise:

15 minute walk in the snow: -110
31 minutes "Party Off the Pounds" DVD: -300

DO NOT WANT

I have to go to the chiropractor this morning, and then grocery shopping, even though it's -27°C (-16.6°F) out there. I would really rather hibernate. Then again, I hibernated yesterday and was bored.

This morning I was down from yesterday weight-wise, but still much higher than I'd like to see. I did get some exercise in, but then I still overate. So it sort of cancelled out. I plan to do as much exercise as I can before it causes my tailbone to hurt, today. That's what I did yesterday. Well, I pushed it a little yesterday, but not too much.

I was really sore last night, just everywhere (legs, hips, back, feet, etc.). I'm wondering if it's from being out of shape and not using those particular muscles for awhile. I noticed that doing my exercise DVD was much harder than it was when I was doing it all the time last spring. I'm asking for more Richard Simmons DVDs for Christmas, but I don't think I'll get them because they have to be ordered online. But I would really love the gift of exercise!

My soreness last night combined with this constant cracking noise meant that I didn't get a very good sleep. Luckily, I don't feel too tired (yet) today. My husband said the cracking noise was the house freezing, but I know it was really our attic squirrel playing darts. He mustn't have been able to sleep, either.

I checked Dietgirl's and Pasta Queen's books out of the library the other day, and I'm quite anxious to read them. But right now I'm reading The Picture of Dorian Gray. It's short, but the author babbles and I have to go back and re-read when it occurs to me that I have no idea what he's talking about.

Well, I guess I better go get ready to brave the cold. Brrr...

Calories Today:

1 egg + 1/4 c. egg whites + 1/4 c. 1% milk-128

1 c. Lundberg brown jasmine rice-185
1 piece salsa chicken-394

1 low fat chocolate chip cookie-105
1/2 c. 1% milk-55

1 breaded, pan-fried pork chop-261
1/4 pot cream of mushroom rice-225
salad-20

5 low fat chocolate chip cookies-525 Crap.
1/2 c. 1% milk-55

Running Total: 1953
Left for Today: -153

Water: 48/99 oz.

Exercise:

29 minutes "Dance Your Pants Off" DVD + a bit of treadmill to finish it off: -300

Winter Wonderland

We're having quite the wintry weather this weekend. A group of us from that group on Facebook were supposed to meet for coffee this evening, but I dunno. The roads are NOT good. The main ones are sort of okay-ish, but the back roads...well, let's just say I don't know if my car will get anywhere.

The Christmas party last night was okay. I even got to dance a little tiny bit. My back was really sore, though. Funny story (well, I thought so): the DJ played "Celebration," and since it's the first song on one of my Richard Simmons tapes, my natural inclination was to do the routine. I did not. Just in case you were worried. But I wanted to.

I ate too much yesterday. I sort of gave up, even though I prevented anymore fruitcake eating by sticking it in the freezer. Today's weigh-in was bad. But here's the thing: TOM should be over today, or tomorrow at the latest. I can already feel that my appetite is not so insane. So the plan is to get back on track, exercise, eat less than 1800 calories per day if it doesn't make me feel deprived (I do have days like that), and...yeah, that's it, really.

I realized that I miss my Richard Simmons tapes, and I think I'll have to get back into them. It will probably mean that I'll have to take it easier (which unfortunately will mean burning less calories) so I don't hurt my back more, but I guess I'll just do it as much as I can. It's clear that I'm not going anywhere without exercise.

Today, I will be chugging the water. I actually feel completely dehydrated. This is after sipping water all morning, too. I know that it was the painkillers I took yesterday (because I did something to my back--AGAIN!--yesterday morning). They're plastered all over with "Take with plenty of water" stickers, which I did, but not enough I guess.

Until tomorrow...

Calories Today:

3/4 chicken enchilada (leftovers)-225

1 chicken enchilada (leftovers)-300

2 mini apricot "croissants"-100
3 orange Ovations-45

2 mini apricot "croissants"-100
2 tomatoes-82

1 piece salsa chicken-394
1 c. rice-205

4 glazed ginger cookies-133
1 c. 1% milk-110
12 orange Ovations-180

Orange Cappucino-163
2 glazed ginger cookies-66

Running Total: 2103
Left for Today: -303 Crap. Guess the sugar cravings aren't all better yet after all.

Water: 120/99 oz.

Exercise:

29 minutes "Dance Your Pants Off" DVD: -300

The Remains of the Fruitcake...

...are now in the freezer. Hooray!

Can't Get Enough

I am hungry today. HUNGRY! I want to save calories for tonight (more on that later), but I also feel like I'm starving to death. I know, I know...I said feel.

Y'see, tonight is my husband's company Christmas party. Since he just started there this year, we've never been to one for this place before and don't know what it will be like. I only know that it's at a golf course, and it's not too far away from where he works. Which is good because we're having us a blizzard! Anyway, I suspect it's a buffet, because nobody asked us to choose our appetizers/entrees/desserts/etc. So that's why I want to save calories.

I thought maybe if I have a slightly bigger and more substantial breakfast than normal, I will feel less like I'm starving to death and more likely to behave myself for the rest of the day. We shall see--I'm making it now.

I was 196.2 this morning. Then again, it is TOM. So I figure it's either fruitcake or TOM.

I bought eggnog the other day, too. Light, PC Blue Menu stuff. Unfortunately, it kind of sucks. And it's 220 calories per cup (even though it's light!). I read on a blog where somebody got light eggnog for 80 calories per cup. Anyone know what brand that is? I would like to find some if I can.

Calories Today:

2 eggs + 1/4 c. egg whites + 1/4 c. 1% milk-198
grapes-101

Running Total: 299
Left for Today: 1501

Water: 0/98 oz.

Exercise:

I Got Into the Fruitcake

There's something you oughta know about me: I love fruitcake. LOVE IT! I don't get all the jokes. My grandma makes the best fruitcake ever (that is not just my opinion, but the opinion also of a bunch of people I used to work with). Howevah, even the ones sold in stores are pretty damned good.

So I went to Superstore yesterday, and I thought to myself, "Let's buy a whole bunch of sugary treats. It is the Christmas season, after all." That'll learn me to listen to myself during TOM. I go insane and should barely be trusted to tie my own shoes for a week, let alone do something as full of responsibility as shopping. And then I saw the deluxe fruitcake, and I thought to myself, "I can control myself. I'll just have half a serving or something."

Well, I am up to 196.2 this morning. No, I am not proud. I have now moved all the sugary treats to the back of the top of the fridge, where I can't see them as easily. Out of sight, out of mind. I hope. I keep thinking that if I'm not careful, I could gain 10 pounds or more this month and undo months and months of hard work. I don't want to do that. I just need to remember that at night when I want to snack.

Anyway, I'm aiming for a shorter post today so as to not bore you all to death. Perhaps then I shall get a much-appreciated comment or two...*sniffle* :o(

Did I mention I also get to feeling very sorry for myself during TOM?

Calories Today:

1 egg + 1/4 c. egg whites + 1/4 c. 1% milk-128
spray butter-0
black seedless grapes-51

2 stuffed pepper halves-470

3 (tiny) pieces chocolate butter fudge-128 don't worry--there are only 2 pieces left.

2 slices of my delicious an' wunnerful homemade pizza-504
1 T light Ranch-35

2 pieces chocolate butter fudge-85

128 g fruitcake-468

Running Total: 1869
Left for Today: -69

Water: 72/98 oz.

Exercise:

Babylon...

I woke up at around 6 this morning completely feeling like crap. First, I tried to roll over and noticed that my back/hips really hurt, and then while I was pondering that, it occurred to me that I had a terrible stomach ache. I also felt so hot I could hardly stand it. So this morning was not the best morning that I've ever had. However, pacing around the living room when I wasn't in the bathroom seemed to loosen up my hips or back or whatever, and they don't feel so bad now.

While I was pacing, I turned on the Christmas tree lights and for some reason, the pretty glow made me feel calmer. Sometimes the weirdest things either upset me or make me feel better if I'm not feeling well.

Then when my tummy had settled down a bit, I went back to bed. Well, then I was freezing and I couldn't get warm, and I was under my electric blanket. I don't know what to make of that. Now I just feel weak and tired. My tummy is still slightly upset, but not bad. Of course I haven't eaten yet.

I guess pretty much all those things could be due to TOM. That would also explain the mad sugar cravings and feeling like I want to cry for no reason other than I feel so put upon (put upon how? I dunno. I'm really quite spoiled.). As for the previously mentioned sugar cravings, I ended up going to Co-op last night for onions (finally, I remembered them!) and a few other things, and while I was there I felt like I had to buy chocolate. Like I was being held up by an invisible force (Aunt Flo? lol) that was making me. And then I nibbled on it all night. Oops. Maybe that's why my tummy's upset. I don't think I went over 2000 calories total, still, though.

Hmmm, what else? I made enchiladas last night for the first time ever, and they were really good. Much higher in calories for one piece than I would have thought based on the ingredients I used, though. I also had intended to have some light sour cream with mine, but totally forgot about it. That will be lunch (or maybe breakfast, ha ha), so I'll have to try to remember then. Tonight I think I will make stuffed peppers. Mmmm. I'm not a fan of peppers in general, but I love stuffed ones for some reason.

My grandma called me yesterday and told me that she has a mole in her eye, which I had never heard of before. She doesn't know if it's cancerous or not. She thought it was, but not because the eye doctor told her--because a relative who's a nurse told her it is. But I looked it up for her, and from what I read it can be either benign or malignant. She won't know for awhile because the eye doctor just wants to keep an eye on it for now. That's scary, though--she said at worst, she could lose her eye. Yikes! I hope it doesn't come to that.

In other news, that same girl who ditched me for coffee on the weekend backed out of my girl's night as well. Don't know why, although she invited me to something on the same night as my husband's Christmas party, so I declined (with an explanation). I'm wondering if that was it. Whatever. So now I only have 6 confirmed attendees. I have 3 maybes, though. And 3 who haven't answered at all, but I doubt they will if they haven't by now. I would like to get the plans firmed up so that I can call and make the reservation, though! But if I say there's 6 of us and 3 show up, or 9 show up, I could be in trouble, you know? Why can't everyone just cooperate? Criminy! ;o)

I was 193.8 this morning. It's sunny and happy-looking out today, and I sort of would like to go out and do something (like Christmas shopping?), but I have two problems with that: 1. I still don't feel 100% and wonder if I should just take it easy today; and 2. I wouldn't have the first idea where to go or what to look for. I still have no idea what to get my husband or my mother.

Maybe I'll just clean. That's what I wanted to do when I was up feeling yucky this morning, but I didn't want to wake up G. At least I'll be able to enjoy the sunlight from the window while I do the dishes and clean the kitchen. I can't get to the window to open the blinds in the living room. Tree's in the way. Maybe I can squeeze by...

Okay, I'll shut up now. I guess. If I have to. ;o) If you've made it this far, I commend you, although my post title is a hint (babble-on).

Calories Today:

2 enchiladas-332
1 c. taco-seasoned rice-198

2 After Eights-80
5 orange Ovations-75

3 glazed ginger cookies-100

4 pieces PC chocolate butter fudge-170 Help me...

2 stuffed pepper halves-470

1/4 c. light eggnog-55
~1/2 c. diet gingerale-0
3 orange Ovations-45
1 glazed ginger cookie-33
3 pieces fudge-170
87 g fruitcake-318

Running Total: 2046
Left for Today: -246 Oops...I meant to eat 2000 today...not to go over it, though.

Water: 48/97 oz.

Exercise:

D'oh!

I went shopping this morning after the chiropractor, mainly for onions. Well, guess what I walked out of there without? Onions! I got everything but. Sheesh. I guess I'll have to make do without onions for a couple more days.

We put up our tree last night. It looks good but it needs to be moved. We usually push the couch and end table closer to the wall, and try to fit the tree near the corner, but I need to clean up the area before we can move anything. And I kind of hurt myself (again) carrying my grocery basket around (I knew I should have used a cart!), so I'm nervous about crawling around back there to clean it. But I'll see how it goes.

My kitties seem to be enjoying the tree. It's an artificial one, but they do love to sit under it and pretend they're Christmas presents.

I was 194.0 this morning.

Calories Today:

2 pork chop "fingers"-300
1/4 pot cream of mushroom rice-225

chicken-artichoke sandwich pocket-260

2 enchiladas-332
1 c. taco-seasoned rice-198
salad-40

1 After Eight-40

3/4 c. 1% milk-83
2 Ferrero Rochers-147
5 orange Ovations-75
2 Caramilk snowmen-85

Running Total: 1785
Left for Today: 15

Water: 48/97 oz.

Exercise:

Christmas Month!!!

Ooooh, I'm excited! I want to get our tree up today. In my ideal world, I would have had the tree, decorations, and lights up, and all the gifts bought by the end of the day today. But even if I get the tree up and decorated, I'll be happy! :o)

I have a few more ideas for gifts. Still nothing for my husband that I think he actually wants, though. Or my mom. No clue. I usually buy her nicer clothes, because she always wears loose, baggy stuff that doesn't do her justice, but then she never wears them. I thought if I bought her enough of them, she would, but now I'm not sure.

Help me--what are some good "husband" gift ideas? Just throw them out there in the comments! Please? I'm desperate! I like to get him one main gift and then some stocking stuffers.

So yesterday morning I went to the chiropractor, and left feeling great. Then I went swimming (not Aquasize yet, Shirls, just plain ol' swimming). I was there for an hour, and I didn't do anything terribly strenuous, but somehow I managed to hurt my back a bit again. Plus I must have done something to it on the weekend, so between the two I feel like it's quite a setback. I am hoping it will miraculously go away so I can get the living room ready for the tree and decorations without too much pain.

I'm glad I went swimming when I did...shortly after I got home, we got quite the blizzard. It looks okay today, though--just cold.

I'm 194.0 this morning. I have TOPS tonight. I'm not looking forward to sitting on those chairs for an hour, so I might just go to weigh in, but I'd like to stay if I can manage it. Maybe I'll just take pillows and see how it goes. I found out last time that our Christmas party is a buffet this year. I'm not sure that's such a good idea, but I also know it's far from the most wonderful dinner buffet in the city (brunch is good there, but dinner...not so much).

I'm having one of those days where I could probably just babble on and on, so I think I'll stop now. ;o) Merry Christmas!

Calories Today:

1/4 c. chow mein-59
2 pork dumplings-163

2 pork chop "fingers"-300
1/4 pot cream of mushroom rice-225

~1 c. caramel popcorn-170

202 g (cooked) spaghetti-300
1/2 c. meat sauce-120
30 g romano-120

1.5 c. caramel popcorn-255
3/4 c. 1% milk-83

Running Total: 1795
Left for Today: 5

Water: 96/97 oz.

Exercise: